I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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