What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
