using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize