i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
