you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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