So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
