Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
