My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
