I faked an abortion last night.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
