the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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