Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
