But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
