i barfeds in our rink
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
