When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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