I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize