Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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