I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
