he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
