I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
