we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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