if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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