all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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