He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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