sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize