Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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