You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
