are you still at the devil's house?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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