just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
