the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
