all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
