I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
