he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
