First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize