I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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