My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
