oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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