i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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