how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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