I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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