Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
