youre lurking in front of me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
