if i can run in heels then i can drive
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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