I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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