he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
