Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
