Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
