how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize