in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
