watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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