nutella sex= disaster
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this will be a night to untag.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
