I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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