You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
