Are we in a gay sports bar?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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