btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
