hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
