so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He felt like a one man threesome
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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