i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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