Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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